Abandon Hope from ALTAR by Alina Remains

I thought I was safe
I thought I was out
but she’s back in my bed
and I’ve lost who I was
to the things that she said
how can you love me, love me
and rip me from my dreams
But i listen when you speak.

“You’ll do what I say or I’ll leave
you’re nothing without my love
you’re nothing if you’re not mine”
nothing you feel and nothing you think
and nothing inside you can hide from my eyes.”

I was missing the light,
So i begged for a sign
And saw nothing
And i heard nothing
And i knew there was nothing
i knew was there was nothing
and I knew she was right

“Jesus I need you to save me
muzzle the hounds in my head
my lover is sick and my father is lost
and my mother is dead”
and no one came
and no one spoke

I saw a way out
through the loop of a rope
I abandoned god
and I abandoned hope
and a darkness drew near
It was a horseman
with a spire and helm
and the symbol of death
and the mark of the beast
upon his forehead

“Come. Leave her. Leave god and the world, Abandon your flesh and embody your spite. God isn’t coming and you cannot fight. So come with me, and abandon the light.”

I saw god
Through the loop of a rope
he snapped the neck of a dove
and told me to give up all hope

• Alternative
• alternative
• ambient
• singer-songwriter
• transgender
• trauma
• Akron