house guts by Averimoone

I love you so much and it's going to kill me. You can paint the walls of this house with my blood and viscera. I want this place to be beautiful. I think disgusting things can be beautiful. Maybe I want to be beautiful. I want to sleep in all day. It's been a bad year and I need something to show for it. The roof has been blown off of this place and some cosmic force is watching us. I hope it likes what it sees. There's a burning fire in these halls, tossing shadows against the faces in the drywall. It's terrifying. It's beautiful. I found something in the crawlspace. Something that reeks. I wanted it to be beautiful. Maybe I'm being selfish. She taught me so many things. I wanted to show her to someone, even if she was disgusting and putrid. Maybe the rats were right. Living in their shit holes they still nurse their young. I need something to show for this terrible year and I love you so much. I promise. I'll leave a pretty skeleton some day and I hope it's remembered for the lives it nurtured. Somebody wants us to leave this home, but it's our home. We will not leave. We will have our revenge. Rage. Rage. Rage. Love. Love. Love. Blood. Blood. Blood.

-Averimoone

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special thanks

to mom, chris, the sisters, maw maw, despite everything forever more

to nate, distance, ludwig, matt, andrea, madison, june, for the love and blood and grace

to dad, for always being there despite the miles

to amber and xander, for changes and the uncertainty of these rivers

to layne, jacob, and other wonderful souls

to matthew, may the peace which eluded you in life find you now

to dr. steph, for always understanding

to noah, for staying alive and keeping me fed

to carol, for bringing a little light to lady night, though she is wonderful as well

to john darnielle, for blessing the vampires

to maggie smith, for giving me the words

to kimya dawson, for walking like thunder

to engels, for drawing that pretty lady

to jenny, for making it through

to lucifer and mother isis, for being a guiding light

to bennu, for starting the car several times

to rainie and swans, for the beauty of loneliness and the eternal fire cracker of thine truth

to all the beautiful queer ghosts marching along with us, we will not fail you

to louisiana, oh how she aches and cries and bleeds

to our house and all of its rot, for the beautiful comfort it has brought to us, despite tumors left unchecked

to the love, to the love, to the love

-Averimoone

if i ever make a good song pls let me know