Beef Runner from Talc Chat by Das Ingtons

I want to improve my cardiovascular my making my legs and my feet move quicker than they ever have before, so I've joined a running club.
But not an ordinary running club, no it's a running club that's owned and ran specifically by cows. Wanna join?

Jog, beef, jog.
I'm telling ya.
We're all running with bovine tonight, I said...
Jog, beef, jog.
I'm feeling it.
Running with these cows just feels right.

Running up a hill with a cow.
Running down the street with a cow.
Specifically contacting Reebok and telling them to make bovine footwear for competitive running cows. That's all I want, that's all I've ever needed, do it now. Signed, all the cows. Got it?

Jog, beef, jog.
I'm telling ya.
We're all running with bovine tonight, I said...
Jog, beef, jog.
I'm feeling it.
Running with these cows just feels right.

Scientists have proved that cows mental health can increase if you let them run or jog, so why not just chuck them in the Olympics like, we could do that.

We could have a dairy Daley Thompson, or a bolognese based Zola Budd, or a beefy Steve Cram, throwing a discus as far as he can using his hooves trying to bed a bird in the audience with his bovine knob.

Cows have got teeth.
Cows have shoulders.
Cows have got teeth. Teeth.

It's a good idea.

Jog, beef, jog.
I'm telling ya.
We're all running with bovine tonight, I said...
Jog, beef, jog.
I'm feeling it.
Running with these cows just feels right.

Jog, beef, jog.
I'm telling ya.
We're all running with bovine tonight, I said...
Jog, beef, jog.
I'm feeling it.
Running with these cows just feels right.

• Experimental
• mental
• United Kingdom