Disclaimer from I'm by Das Ingtons

(Thank you for calling HSBC. For quality purposes and in the interest of security, your call may be recorded......)

So I decided. Everytime I call a call centre to do some menial task of administration with banking or utility bills. I'd make it more fun for myself by offering them the following disclaimer before saying anything else:

I reserve the right.
I reserve the right.
I reserve the right to record your voice and use it in a song.

I reserve the right.
I reserve the right.
I reserve the right to record your voice and use it in a musical piece.

(Thank you for calling HSBC.)

Good morning, you're through to HSBC in the UK, you're speaking to Susan. How can I help you?
Oh, good morning Susan.
Morning.
Just before I go any further, I reserve the right to record your voice and use it in a song. Is that OK?
Not particularly, no.

Ah! I'm using your voice! Ah! I'm using your voice.
Ah! I'm losing my voice. I better talk in my normal voice.
Ha! I'm recording your voice. Ha! I'm recording your voice.
Arrgh! I'm hurting my voice, I better talk in my normal voice.

Yeah, is not a bit of a strange request?
I don't know, you've got a great voice. It sounds like you could be a good singer.
Oh really? Well, I can't sing a note.
Well, maybe if you imagined a beat you could rap for me?
Erm, I couldn't rap for you. I'm quite old and I'm not into rap music.

Ah! I'm using your voice! Ah! I'm using your voice.
Arrgh! I'm losing my voice. I better talk in my normal voice.
Ha! I'm recording your voice. Ha! I'm recording your voice.
Arrgh! I'm hurting my voice, I better talk in my normal voice.

I just can't think any kind of like outro and I want to do a song with a really good outro. ....
Oh, OK. Legend. You gotta go and do a song about legal disclaimers, haven't you?
Yeah, it's kinda like y'know, peoples voices, legal disclaimers and stuff like that. I mean, can you think of anything for the end of the song?
Er. So what sort of thing?
Just like people's voices. Just think of an outro for me dude.
I'll see what I can do bled. I'll see what I can do.
Uh-huh
Yeah, I don't mate. I don't know. I mean, it's got to be organic thing hasn't it.
It's definitely gotta be organic. Hey, say 'organic' for me, dead loud, let's do it. 1. 2. 3. ORGANIC! Oh, I forgot you're in an annexe.
Oh yeah, I'm in an annexe, I can't do it now.

• Experimental
• Rock
• diclaimer
• mental
• prank
• rock'n'roll
• United Kingdom