ll by Drainpuppet

ll - two - eleven - strength - pause

-----------

this album is in some ways a departure for me and in other ways getting back to my roots. prior to 2013 most of my music was slow and sad. in 2013 i started an album about my depression called dysthymia. i intend to finish it eventually, but i have not yet. in many ways this album is a sequel to that, dysthymia two. in other ways, it feels to me like this is my first album. this is who i am.

in the last month or two i created this album to express the particular types of hardship i have been going through. it is an exercise in catharsis, in storytelling, in being honest with myself. it's about depression, about pain and anxiety, about self-loathing. it's about how far i have come. it's about how difficult and frightening it is to exist. it's about fear and guilt, and letting yourself be vulnerable despite trauma.

this point in my life feels kind of still. it's like everything was moving so fast for a while and now i have a chance to stop and think about where i am; i have a chance to pause. at the time of this album's release, i will have started HRT nearly exactly two years ago. those two years went by incredibly quickly but so much has happened and i have changed so much as a person.

strength is the eleventh card of the major arcana. it represents fortitude, patience, the strength to carry on and subsist. things that have always been difficult for me, but i am getting stronger. i am learning to trust myself, be compassionate with myself, fight for myself, stand up for myself. it's something i need to remind myself to do, often.

i hope you can relate to it, and i hope it helps you. thank you.

-----------

thanks to autumn for the very COOL and DRAINPUPPETY art

extra thanks to everyone on my mailing list and everyone who has ever bought my music, anyone who has ever told me my shit mattered to them, anyone who's ever showed anyone else my music, everyone who's ever supported, came out to shows, y'all rock so much. see u at magfest.

special thanks to
luci, aria, jamie, maria, keynan, housey, dicksquad, mara, valor, kurtis, maxx, hayden, and my MOM S/O TO MOMS WORLDWIDE

lightning priest

SoundCloud