anathema from cheerful ending by elizabeth whitington

soon, i will be trusted by god behind the wheel of a car
and i'm driving myself to the gun range and ending up online
face out on newspapers, what's left of my tongue pushed off to the side
and i'll die with the best smile i can muster
i'm the biggest loser in the virgo supercluster
don't you fucking dare condescend to think our problems are the same
you have a face shaped by the gods, a wire-where-it-should-be frame
and new lovers every day knocking at your door
i wonder what those fingers are for
i wonder if you scream out her name when the night gets too hard
and you're sitting all alone, neck deep in squishmallows
a tattoo of mermaid poison written on each wrist
sailing idiot waters forever
productivity a must in this day and age
and you smile and nod as she achieves erection
jigsaw pieces to the wrong type of puzzle
only if you believe in myth
i have become the anathema
your deepest darkest regret
spindles, legs covered up behind the stage
they all whisper to me in the sleep language
i know she was the best that you've had
and now you make a home in piles of trash
boxers in and out of the ring looking to see who dropped their lost everything
"sorry, son, i must've burned that chapter."
hey what's up
like you care

• Experimental
• bedroom recordings
• claustrophobia pop
• fifth wave emo
• noise pop
• queer
• Martinez