Flat from Chromium Dockyard by Gary Le Strange

Sitting in my flat at the midnight hour
Wilting in my room like a dying flower
My days are all grey and my nights are black
Crying in my sleep cos my hair’s gone flat

For my crimpers are bust and my hairspray’s gone
And I dare not walk into town for none
For the people will scoff if I let them see
And the girl across the road won’t fancy me

If it wasn’t so late, I’d phone my Mum
And I’d get her to go to the shop for some
But the shops are all shut and my phone is broke
And it’s seventeen years since we last spoke

I could find another way to make it spiky
Find another method but it don’t look likely
I could try the shoe polish or the margarine
But they’ll only make it flatter than it’s ever been

So I’m gonna take a knife to my ugly Barnet
Shave it all off and shove a bag upon it
Then I’m gonna run away to a windswept cliff
And take a running jump right off of it

But I’m gonna have to wait till the ruddy morning
When the trains start running and the rain stops falling
What’s the point of going out in this pitter-patter?
If my hair’s flat now, it will only get flatter in the rain

In the rain
It will only get flatter in the rain

In the rain
In the sickening, boring rain, rain, rain
AAAAAAAAHHH!

Aaaahhh! Aaaahhh!
Oh God! Aaaahhh!
Oh Jesus Christ!
Aaaaaaaahhhh!

The horror
The horror
The horror

• Comedy
• Electronic
• Goth
• ballad
• depressing
• new wave
• pop
• London