Perv Beat from Chromium Dockyard by Gary Le Strange

I want to stare at a soldier’s willy
Down on Old McDonald’s Farm
I want to smother my private bits
In TCP and Tiger Balm

I want to hammer a nine inch hobnail
Through a naughty nurse's balls
I want to suck on a bumboy's pants
While tumbling down Niagara Falls

And if you're feeling depressed
You better get undressed
And jump in a taxi
And come on over to me
We can dance until dawn
To the rhythm of electronic porn

Dancing to the perv beat, perv beat
Pumping to a different rhyme
Romancing to the perv beat, perv beat
Look, it’s nearly sex o’ clock and that’s bumming time

I want to do an erotic pee-pee
On a dirty bugger's back
I want to spit on a schoolboy's head
In Granny's fishy rubber Mac

I want to wade in the filthy juices
Of a twenty-titted whore
I want to funnel things up myself
Till myself can't feel me no more

And if you phone the police
I'll wallop you in the teeth
And tie you to a tree
Until you say sorry
And pull me off on a hill
Until I'm delirious with sexy thrills

Dancing to the perv beat, perv beat
Humping to a different tune
Prancing to the perv beat, perv beat
Look, it's twenty five to cock, we'll be frotting soon

Every single waking hour of every single day
All I do is perv about in every single way
It doesn't matter what you say to take it off my mind
I'd only twist it round so I could do it from behind

Cos sex is better than a bowl of diamonds and champagne
Or fifty million pounds' worth of Peruvian cocaine
You could introduce me to the angels in the starry skies
But if I saw an angel now, I'd fuck it till it dies

Perv beat, perv beat, perv beat
Perv beat, perv beat, perv beat

Ooh, you naughty bastard
Do you wanna be my slave?
Go on
Go down the shop and get us a box of fags
Ere - you can get me a bag of Monster Munch while you're at it
Yeah, pickled onion flavour
Not Flamin' Hot flavour
If you get me Flamin' Hot flavour, I'll kick you in the bollocks
Yeah, that's right - I said ‘Bollocks’
BOLLOCKS
I can say worse things than that if I want
KNOBHEAD
Yeah, that's right
Get down the bollocking shop, you knobhead

Do you want punishing?
I'll punish anything, man or beast
I prefer punishing beasts though, if I'm to be honest
Oh yeah - I love to punch a llama in the throat
Or a crocodile
'Ere! Have you ever kicked a crocodile in the nuts?

Dancing to the perv beat, perv beat
Spanking to a different drum
Sperm banking to the perv beat, perv beat
Man, I want to wank you up till you're deaf and dumb

Perv beat, perv beat
Bonking to a different groove
Mad monking to the perv beat, perv beat
Watch my sexy hips gyrate and my knackers move

Perv beat, perv beat
Humping to a different tune
Prancing to the perv beat, perv beat
Look, it's twenty five to cock, we'll be frotting soon

Perv beat, perv beat
Pumping to a different rhyme
Romancing to the perv beat, perv beat
Look, it’s nearly sex o’ clock and that’s bumming time

• Comedy
• Electronic
• dance
• hi-NRG
• industrial
• new wave
• pop
• sexy
• London