PERMADEATH from CICADA* by monikrr

i watched a man die last night
shoveled pills but they couldn’t even keep him alive
and when i saw my reflection in those empty eyes
i bit my tongue

and he said
“boy, it seems i’ve finally reached my time
the gross unknown, the twisted blurry lines”
and i couldn’t help but stand there
stone and petrified
i wish i’d said goodbye

if i see your face again i think i'll fall apart
conflated, left in idle stress, you found your way in to my art
floating down the lake bed, tears piled in my arms
cos it all leads down to something less, we feel so small amongst the stars

if i die here wondering, "was i ever enough?"
deflated, lost the confidence to bottle it up
falling through the mattress, fear boils and erupts
no lifeline can save me drowning, i'm giving up

so i looked to myself
and asked “who the hell am i?
was the death of who i was a noble sacrifice?”
shoveled pills and then drank the liquid suicide
i’ll let fate carry me tonight

and he said
“boy, it seems i’ve finally reached my time
the gross unknown, the twisted blurry lines”
and i couldn’t help but stand there
stone and petrified
i wish i’d said goodbye

• Electronic
• Pop
• Rock
• bedroom pop
• indie pop
• Las Vegas