Psychoboss from Wrongside by Question Beggar
Our play of employment starts with "Psychoboss." Written in late 2023, it's sung by a boss beset by psychopathy. Like a character introduction song in a musical, the singer seems to be laying out the rules for their unfortunate underling. The boss is aware that he or she is a monster and that their cruelty is both deliberate and unaccountable. In true psychopath tradition, at the end, they excuse their behavior as being noble: to teach the underling what it takes to be a boss, too. It's self-serving and despicable.
I wish I could say it's the first bad boss song I've ever written. It's a whole section of my back catalog. (See vonHummer's "Before You Hire Me," and "Speaking Truth to Power," and Claxton Kent's "Micromanager.") So I've encountered more than my fair share of them. Being a truth teller, I'm a natural enemy to to the Narcissist and it's made for some memorable misadventures in my time.
My favorite part of the song is in the bridge, where I sneak in what I think of as The Chinese National Anthem. That little string of notes that used to play in TV shows and movies on the soundtrack any time something Asian appeared. There's no particular reason I included it, except perhaps to go with the line "...I'm your Viet Nam..."
The spoken clip at the end was excerpted from a weekly one-on-one with a particularly dreary psychoboss of my own. She had me targeted early on for removal and did it by the numbers, wrong footing and siloing me any chance she could, and just making my life miserable for a good year and a half. Here's she tells me that because I've been on a Performance Improvement Plan ("PIP," cute huh?) I won't be getting a yearly bonus. I'm just trying to play along like a penitent fool, hoping to wring another few weeks of paychecks before the axe falls. Which was about all that was left there, actually.
I'll never understand what makes a managerial human make life miserable for the souls that have been entrusted to their care and oversight. They must see it as survival for themselves. Do they regret their cruelty? Are they even aware of it? This is at the heart, for me, of Dickens' A Christmas Carol. Managerial cruelty.
Tracklist
| 1. | Psychoboss | 5:19 |
Lyrics
"Psychoboss"
(Kent)
You're gonna need omniscience/ to work for me/ and equal parts subservience/ Knee pads and bendy knees/ A little taste for masochism/ would not hurt you/ After hours, hit the sauce...
And that's what it takes/ That's what it takes/ That's what it takes/ to work for a psychoboss…
You gotta act invincible/ while I wound and hurt/ You gotta lack all principle/ and keep your groveling curt/ Neck-and-neck with nihilism/ you race blind faith/ through cross and double cross...
And that's what it takes/ That's what it takes/ That's what it takes/ to work for a psychoboss…
I'll tell you who I am/ right up front/ I'm your Viet Nam/ I'm a total/ countrified, certified settler for nothing but the best/ and better than you…
I use, abuse, and toss…
Cos that's what it takes/ That's what it takes/ That's what it takes/ some day, when you’re psychoboss…
Run, run, hon'/ but you'll find me everywhere/ Run, run, hon'/ Working to square the square…
Credits
Produced, Engineered, mixed and mastered by Question Beggar at Therisno Studios, Watauga, Texas. Words and Music by Question Beggar, Three-string bass, 3-string guitar and percussion by Question Beggar. Vocals by Question Beggar.
License
CC BY-NC-SA 3.0. See the Creative Commons website for details.
Out of the rubble of vonHummer, Claxton Kent arose, and from the ruin of Claxton Kent, Question Beggar stood erect, raised the fallen banner and continued the work of Heavy Skiffle. Still playing the 3-string bass, tapping his faithful Wave Drum with one foot, Question Beggar chunks along with dark, witty lyrics sung in coyote yelps and pleasing no one but himself, apparently.