Dick Potato by That Joe Payne

Don’t be a dick potata
Don’t be a dick potata
To be led or lead astray
Life becomes a cabaret
Don’t be a dick
Na-na-no ne-ne-neh
Don’t be a dick potata
Don’t be a dick potata
Though the world may be a stage
Don’t mistake it for a masquerade
Don’t be a dick
Na-na-no ne-ne-neh

I received a VIP invitation in the mail
Which impressed the code of dress
As a peaked cap, tie and tails
Dust me down, I wear a frown,
Cos you know this ain’t my style
I’d be more dressed for war
But I guess we’re dressing to beguile

Arriving there, I find my chair,
Told we’re here to make a deal
In they stride with verbicide to distort my sense of real
Armed with cards we go vanguard
A well-practiced poker face
You can bluff for a flush
But your King and Queen won’t beat my Ace, no

Don’t be a dick potata
Don’t be a dick potata
Like a child out of its cage
Better learn to act your age
Don’t be a dick
Na-na-no ne-ne-neh
Don’t be a dick potata
We’ll only mash you later
Let the baby get his way
On a fantasy of yesterday
You’ll find a stick stuck so far up your A

Don’t you be a dick po-ta-tat
Your words be rushin’ but you know that
You’d better be on your best behaviour
So don’t be a dick potata

Once back home
the dog and bone ring-a-dings its tetchy tune
Answering, I hear it sing with the voice of our tycoon
I translate our tête-à-tête as a ludicrous exchange
It’s a ruse to abuse
Spark a flame, light the fuse
For a feud, all in vain

We’re sailing to distant spaces
Carried on wind ‘cross the sea
Just riding the breeze
To spread our need for
Mesmeric movement, so free

Unveiling a world of faces
Weaving our rich tapestry
This rainbow of thread
Will knock-em-dead with
All of the love that we seed
Now we’re spilling the capital T

Don’t be a dick potata
Don’t be a dick potata
To be led or lead astray
Life becomes a cabaret
Don’t be a dick
Na-na-no ne-ne-neh
Don’t be a dick potata
You’ll get a kick from NAT-A

Cos however long you stay
Every memory must fade
Read your latest horoscope
It’s enough to kill the Pope
Your morality brigade’s
Growing tired of this old charade

Don’t be a dick
Ne-ne-neh na-na-nope
You’re full of it
Check the colonoscope
Don’t be a dick
Just be kind, kiss me quick
Stay in time – it’s a skit
But we don’t get the joke

Don’t be a dick potata
Brush that chip off your shoulder

One the crap has hit the fan
Better even up your tan
Just tell everyone it’s great
In the hope they’ll take the bait
Even such a big man
Won’t win fights with those tiny hands

Reaching out, grabbing ‘em by the prostate

Don’t you be a dickhead potato, no, no, no
Don’t be a dick
No-na-no ne-ne-neh…
Oh!

• Alternative
• LGBTQ
• Progressive Rock
• male vocalist
• pop rock
• progressive pop
• Northampton